Thursday, January 20, 2005

The Inappropriateness Begins

Hey Hey Hey. (in a Fat Albert voice, the cartoon not that shit that just came out)

Anyway, so here it is, my real first blog, the other one was a test and I got a response. She was so sweet. we both live in new york. I wonder how she found me? Hmm... maybe its fate or something. Maybe she will be the only one looking at it... that would be sad... pathetic to say the least!

Well... right now I am not in NYC, Im in Amsterdam. Enjoying the "culture" that Amsterdam has to offer and its not a hooker, no, my dutch girlfriend will be home in a minute, she that takes care of that. Get it, she's a hooker. (inappropriate comment #1, check) It could have been much worse. I could call her one to her face. This is my time. Me time. No one knows what an asshole I am time.

So back to the cultrure, just a friendly lil bowl, which i just enjoyed. Actually it's a crappy bowl. It was like 3euro. I saw this BONG in this Headshop, applicably named: The Headshop. It was about a foot high and had a--- should I be discussing? "Paging 'Patriot Act', you're wanted in aisle 2. 'Patriot Act, you're wanted in aisle 2." He's probably listening... wait... it's not Tom Ridge, he resigned saying we're totally save. Bernard "I fucked half the women in NYC" Kerik was-- well... he was funny. Wait a second, if anyone watching the Homeland right now? They're probably all partying. And the "evildoers" are plotting.

But back to Bernie... He was a real New York Cop who had his hand in everything. Mafia, women... drugs I'm sure. And of course a nanny who was from some poor country. Most cops are not like him but he did have a lot of cream, it seems like more than most. Maybe if cops didn't make such shit salaries they wouldn't need the cream. Cream, I like that. Have to give credit to a movie called "Fallen" for that word. Its with Denzel Washington, written by Nicholas Kazan (son of Elia?) and directed by Gregory Hoblit . If you're in the mood for an awesome supernatural thriller, check it out. Also look out for James Gandolfini (Tony Soprano) and Aida Turturro (Janice, his sister) in the film. Is it sick that I wouldn't turn down Edie Falco. Man, I love the pants she wears! I think it's sick. It's like screwing your mom's best friend: check. We'll maybe didn't screw. And here's to you Mrs. Robinson....

Well, anyway.. so this blog, it probably never will be as big (though the info I'm putting out there will be greeted with a head shake and an: "Inapporpriate! You're being inappropriate Brian." ) as Andrew Sullivan's (not like I'm a fan) or Bicyclemark who turned me onto this: Bicyclemark.org/blog.html. Check it out. worth the time and effort.

But yeah, this will probably end up just being a rant on issues of political, cultural and urinal nature or should I say persuasion. Probably end up ranting about an ex or a current girlfriend. Or start forming my lil book of ideas on women. Yes, I admit, much smarter than men. Ive been told for years to do a book but I think my ideas should be on a blog and then move to a podcast.

That's just a beginning... more to come. I know you are all anxious to hear more. Patience.

But I did invent a new way of dating: Ask a girl to go for a walk. Now wait before you all get mad or say that its obvious, listen to it. ask her for a walk. It's so simple. Call her up and say: Look, would you like to go for a walk? In a park or something.
Now, what does this do? Women... think about it. It is kind of romantic. Fellas... it saves money AND it makes you look like a sweet guy. And all you're doing is walking... its easy. It just might be the new thing.

I will investigate and expand on it. Though I did try it once and that led to a girl revealing something quite shocking. It was below "I used to have a dick." and above "I have a two year old child." More on that, remind me for that story....

Gift to women: Men go out and do things to be able to tell a good story the next morning.
If you wanna know more, you're just going to have to ask!

But that's about it for today. More to come tomorrow...

Hope you enjoyed it. Count the Inappropriate comments... how many did you get? Not many, I'm only warming up.

Later

3 Comments:

Blogger col said...

hows the "studying" goin bri? gettin lots of research done? haha yeah right. Your mail is piling up u better come home soon.

January 20, 2005 at 3:45 PM  
Blogger Bicyclemark said...

Tool.

January 21, 2005 at 1:01 AM  
Blogger Gracelyn said...

I really don't think you're that inappropriate. Maybe you are just warming up. Hopefully within the next couple of days you will say something super offensive.

The walk idea is good, but you could end up finding out some things you shouldn't know (mangina etc.). What about just asking a girl out for ice cream. Not as long as dinner, not as intimate as a walk. And it's always fun watching someone eat something off of a spoon. Just a thought.

January 21, 2005 at 5:57 AM  

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